Reflecting on Fr. Giussani

I thought I would break from some of my custom and make a far more personal post to Integrity.  (I resist a bit, because I do blog under a pseudonym, although not that secretive of one.  Should a member of my SofC happen to be an Integrity reader, this post should eliminate any doubt about who I am.)

When you read this, Fr. Giussani will have been buried.  Many of my new friends in CL will have attended his funeral, including one of our fellow St. Blog's parishioners.  If it is evening, I will be at Mass with many members of the Chicago community, praying for the repose of Fr. Giussani's soul and expressing my appreciation for the gift he was to the Church.

This has been an interesting week for me, as I am new to CL.  I don't have the same attachment to Fr. Giussani as others do, for whom Fr. Giussani was their spiritual father.  Yet I was surprised to find myself saddened by his death.  In part, because I have never been one to have strong emotional reactions to deaths or funerals.  (At times I have felt darn guilty about this; other times, I have wondered if I was not designed, for some reason, with a personality that just isn't as affected emotionally by crisis as others might be.)  But mostly, I was surprised that I had this reaction because two and a half months ago I didn't even know Fr. Giussani's name (although I had heard of Communion and Liberation). 

In some respects I wonder if I might not be like a newborn child who loses a parent.  It is only later in time that an understanding of that parent's role and gift develops for the child.  For I have already learned much from Fr. Giussani, his writings, and the CL movement.  Enough to know, even if CL turns out not to be a long term part of my life, that Fr. Giussani -- through the CL movement -- has been the Lord's instrument for me in continuing my journey in the faith.  The method of encounter that Fr. Giussani espouses, not only corresponds so well to my own experience, but begins to develop an answer to the question for which I have longed for an answer:  how do I live out the faith in all aspects of my life?  (The previous big question that I asked God to answer was whether I believed in God.)  The method of encounter speaks to how most of us encounter Christ through members of His body.  This has re-affirmed to me what I learned from CFL and talk about ad nauseam on Integrity, namely, the great importance of the laity in the mission of the Church.  For many, the laity will be their only encounter with Christ. But the method of encounter has also taught me some about how to be Christ's presence and the importance of communion.  I have come to realize that before I used to think of myself more as a "Christian", giving the word a singular and individualistic emphasis.  Now I find the phrase "part of the Christian people" or "member of the Body" more apt, because it forces me to see that I am part of a community.  A community that has been given a mission.  It is not just me and Jesus.  And as much as I always knew this, my appreciation for this fact has deepened because of Fr. Giussani and CL.

Comments

[Fred K]

Beautiful post. I appreciate your reflection on funerals and your analogy of a baby losing its parents. That's how I feel. Thank you for sharing your fine judgement: I have also shared your guilt at feeling nothing at funerals. Now, you and I are regaining our human affectivity. Thanks!